i received an email from a prospective adoptive parent yesterday, asking me to link to their YouTube adoption profile video for exposure, positive or negative. i am uncomfortable linking to the video or blog for a variety of reasons.
i've been reading their blog off and on (mostly off in the past 6 mos or so) for about a year, and when i revisited the blog yesterday...nothing has changed. if i were in the position to have to decide all over again, i would run from this couple.
1) in the video, they go on about their infertility issues, money spent, time waiting. you know what? i remember clearly what i was thinking while perusing prospective profiles & videos. i had my own problems to handle. i didn't need to think about the issues that the "waiting families" were having, let alone when i actually chose Betty & Barney.
2) i have had a hard time finding them sincere, real, thoughtful outside of their desire to be parents. adoption, as most of us know, is not a "sure thing". the variables are immense and deep. some issues may not arise for years, for any party. my issues today are certainly not the same as they were at placement.
3) "We would love to receive exposure of this video on your blog, whether positive or negative, as we feel that the more the story gets out there, the better are our chances of finding a child sooner than later." but no. they don't really want negative exposure, or feedback. when a negative comment on the video was received, it was tossed away as someone who had favorited Claud's video...you know, "someone who has an anti-adoption blog". pfft. okay. so only "pro-adoption" negative comments? i'm scratching my head in wonder.
while i did receive an apology, its not the point. the sheer desperation in this type of promotion must almost be akin to...gasp...having an unexpected pregnancy.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
It reminded me of when I first started chatting online when I was using AOL. There were women who would wait hours each day hoping to bump into an unplanned pregnancy so they could cat with them about how they wanted to adopt. Tacky ideas brought forth by people who sort of forgotten about in a sea of "dear birthmom" =oP
that was me, magicpointeshoe btw.
The video, poor taste and uneducated about many adoption issues. But really I could let it pass. They are desperate, they are making stupid decisions. But what killed me is that they emailed women like you purely to get a negative response and publicity, without really considering how it would make you feel. That's not an oversight or a stupid mistake, that is mean and completely insensitive.
And I agree with you- little growth.
Didn't he describe mothers of loss as the enemy? Or was that anti adoption people as the enemy?
What irks me is he will read this and then change his promo to appeal to more mothers. I wish they weren't infertile so they could stay away from the adoption world. People like that should not be allowed to adopt.
It's funny that I made a guess as to who this was and I was right.
I mean, I'm sorry they haven't been able to find a baby to adopt. But really..it was all about them wasn't it? I didn't like the bit about them becoming impatient. Sure, someone adopting might be impatient with the process..but it sounded coercive to me. I always feel like their blog focuses on how crappy the whole process is without any consideration as the greater issues in adoption.
Anyway, sorry to hijack your comments. I just am sorry you were invited to view and comment especially while acknowledging that you would probably not like it.
I am honored that you would take the time to read my blog or offer any insight on how I can better raise my daughter because it is through moms like you that I have learned the most. I have been able to wrap my head around concepts that I didn't even allow myself to think about before.
Thanks for that.
I'm sorry... who in their right mind solicits a birthmother (or anyone, really) to pimp their profile on their blog? I don't care how 'with it' you are about adoption issues, that's just weird.
Those are some serious balls.
.....Beyond that, *hugs*. You've been in my thoughts.
I saw this yesterday, and thought I'd wait and compose myself before responding. Yes, it's an improvement...:D
It would be an incredible disservice to a child to let these people be parents right now. They obviously need to think things through and educate themselves. Just my opinion, but they are NOT READY to become parents of anybody, let alone of an adopted child.
I'm so, so sorry that you had to deal with their garbage. Especially now...
*hugs*
(It's karen from evil mommy)
As I told him directly, he needs more than a child. He needs some class. Some tact. Some professional help. Maybe a bottle of prozac.
Do I know this blog? You should send it to me...I think I need to see this video.
Stupid people.
This was really unbelievable, and the apology that he sent was insufficient in my opinion. I just really couldn't believe someone would even think up something like that, much less actually do it.
You know what got me the most? And this is after I sent my video as a response as asked so he could SEE, and after I sent a nicely worded response to his solitition Email explain why no way in hell would I assist in their advertising, but that ..all and all..the overall feeling was that they just were really into the hunt aspect "Let's get a baby!! Must get a baby!"..and very little at all was thought out as to how any of us mught really feel...so if they don't care how we feel now..like didn;t even cross their mind that it might be offensive at all, then how will they have the ability to have compassion about how the mother of thier child might feel either?
I say they have a LOT of learning to do first...it's just not about GETTING the child, but what comes after...and that's for life.
Eek. They sound like the kind of folks who see first parents as nothing more than baby-suppliers-- commodity brokers--people whom they'd have no problem discarding once the commodity has been procured. Run, run fast, and don't look back.
Post a Comment