in the hospital, they don't let you have a pen. or a full sized pencil. there are boxes of golf pencils available, but they keep a point for only about 20 minutes, which is frustrating to the "holy jebus i've got a lot to get out of my system" type of blogger/writer.being able to write about specific events without having to worry about who might be reading it or who i might anger in the process was extremely freeing. because i don't post a lot of what i feel here because of those two very important reasons. and the reason why i "slash & burn" many of my older posts retrospectively. fear of retribution.
throughout my life, i've just wanted to make you happy. you, the reader, can apply that you to yourself or just the universal "you". the result is still the same. for instance, i wanted so desperately to be the mythical "good birth mother", which is why many of my posts are about specific incidents, altered in minuscule ways to protect the obvious, rather than specific feelings. because if i talk about anger, i might alienate some people, and i sure wouldn't want to do that, even though its my truth. i've been playing it pretty safe in many regards when it comes to blogging about my experiences with open adoption.
i haven't written consistently, journal style, since i was about 23 or so, when my writing was fueled by caffeine, lack of sleep, 2am-8am work sorting boxes for the Big Brown Shipping Co and my regular changing shift job at the MegaBookstore. but it was real, warts and all. and it was cathartic. and i may just have to start doing that again.
7 comments:
I *know* I offend some people with what I put on my blog. I only almost care. :p
Barb, we are too alike. I swear it's scary sometimes. I feel like we are mentally linked..mind melded by Spock somehow..
Some days I care, others I don't. (I'm sure that's my unstable emotions I hear so much about from folks. Probably some hormones mixed in there too as well.)
Someone sent this to me today(again) & I thought I'd pass it along to you: "Be who you are & say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
& those who matter don't mind."
Food for thought there....
You will be surprised how many people you don't offend when you let it all out.
How many will say, "you too?" and sigh with relief.
How much more confident you will be.
You have every right to be here, as much as the crickets and the stars, you are.
Write about whatever you like - it's your blog, and you shouldn't have to apologize for anything you say here. If it offends some people (and it's hard to say something big and important to you without offending someone) - well, that's a sad day for them.
On the other hand, there's a lot ot be said for having something that's only for you. It really does help.
I hope you let it rip.I'm sending good thoughts your way.
Hey Sweetie,
You write your truth because there are many out there who can't articulate their own similar truths. And it's your blog and you can do whatever you want to do.
I'm glad to see you back. I've missed you!
It's good to have you back. I just noticed you started writing again and it's good.
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