my therapist knows nothing, and i mean nothing, about adoption. at all. zippo. nada.
i'm extremely frustrated. i've spent time, for which i'm paying money, educating her about adoption. basics.
for instance, two sessions ago we came upon the subject of the Kiddo's name change.
"...and then they named him W- and i had named him Jacob...."
"can they do that? change his name?"
"---------------------------- (my immediate thought: ohmygodicantbelievethis)"
do i expect my therapist to know everything about adoption? of course not. however.
the last session we had was 90% about adoption, where previous sessions had been a whirlwind of incidents spanning my emotional lifetime. about 15 minutes in, i could already feel my jaw start to set, my back teeth pressing together in steeling myself for the next 30 minutes. it was maddening.
driving south on my way home, i starting weighing the new relationship with my therapist. Carol has been mighty helpful so far in showing me some things that i hadn't expected. even though i've been hashing and rehashing events for years, i've clearly overlooked the obvious. so for that, she's been pretty great.
but its been pretty clear pretty quickly that i'm going to have problems talking about adoption. and i need to be able to do that. i don't want to dread therapy. i need to be honest. a conundrum.
